Suck it up, buttercup.

Hang up, Dial 003: The Trap of Assumptions & the Cost of Shame

Nov 08, 2024

The Anti-Hero follow-up to this morning’s What the Womb Teaches Us post! Enjoy :)

When Assumptions Become "Truth"

For centuries, the loudest, richest, and most privileged voices have dictated “truth” for everyone else—voices that often belong to men who have never experienced the realities they govern, legislate, or control.

Their guesses, assumptions, and half-truths have become the unshakable foundation of societal norms, fueling division and, perhaps most damaging of all, pitting women against each other in a quiet war of endurance.

Women have been told to "suck it up”

To wear their pain as a badge of honor.

To outlast one another in a silent competition of suffering. (not me, I tap out quick!)

These narratives aren’t just imposed—they’re internalized.

They teach us to question our own instincts, distrust our bodies, and accept discomfort as a necessary price for survival.

Worse, when we perpetuate these narratives, we give power to the very systems that hold us back.

The result? A cycle of shame, disconnection, and symptom relief disguised as solutions.

We live in a world where the loudest assumptions—not lived truths—define our reality.

But the flaws in framework are becoming impossible to ignore, and now, we’re faced with a choice: continue to accept someone else’s absolute truths or create our own.

Choose wisely.

Symptom Relief vs. Root Cause: Breaking the Surface-Level Cycle

How often do we stop to ask why?

When we feel physical discomfort, emotional pain, or mental strain, our default response is often to treat the surface-level symptom rather than addressing the deeper cause.

It’s easier, faster, and frankly, it’s how we’ve been conditioned. To take the easier route or find the quick fix.

For example, take something as simple as a headache —

Most of us don’t stop to ask: Why do I have this headache? Was it dehydration, stress, poor sleep, or something deeper?

Instead, we pop a pill, numb the pain, and move on.

The discomfort is dulled, but the cause remains, waiting to resurface in another form.

The same logic applies to emotional and mental challenges.

A comment on social media leaves us gutted, and instead of asking why it affected us so deeply, we react outwardly—blaming, distracting, or numbing ourselves. This symptom-first mindset doesn’t just keep us stuck; it robs us of accountability, autonomy, and the opportunity for true healing.

Here’s the thing: every feeling, every trigger, every reaction is a signal—a message urging us to look deeper.

When we ask why, we uncover the root causes of our struggles. We see the patterns and cycles that shape our lives, and we gain the power to shift them.

Shame: The Foundation of Disconnection

At the core of these cycles lies shame, an insidious force that has been weaponized to control women for generations.

Shame convinces us that our bodies are unreliable.

Shame tells us that our emotions are our weaknesses. Logic over everything, right?

Shame makes us believe that our worth is tied to how much we can endure. (ouch.)

It teaches us to silence our instincts, ignore our needs, and distrust our inner compass.

And shame isn’t just imposed by those in power; it operates within our communities, kept alive in the way we think, interact, and connect—especially around women’s health.

When women turn on each other, shaming one another for how much pain we can or can’t bear, we reinforce the very systems that oppress us. We become the blind leading the blind, upholding narratives that were never ours to begin with.

Shame thrives on disconnection, growing stronger when we blindly accept others’ assumptions as truth.

It traps us in cycles of comparison, judgment, and self-doubt, ensuring we stay divided and distracted from the real work: reclaiming our power.

The Power of Why: Reclaiming Agency

The way forward begins with a single, radical act: asking why.

Why do we feel the way we feel?
Why do we accept certain truths without questioning them?
Why do we perpetuate cycles that don’t serve us?

These questions aren’t just rhetorical—they’re revolutionary.

They force us to peel back the layers of conditioning, shame, and disconnection that have shaped our lives. They reveal the root causes of our struggles and offer us the clarity we need to break free.

But asking why requires courage.

It demands that we sit with discomfort, confront painful truths, and take accountability for our part in perpetuating harmful patterns.

It’s not about blame—it’s about empowerment. It’s about reclaiming the autonomy we’ve given away and building a life that aligns with our own truths, not someone else’s assumptions.

From Symptoms to Systems: A New Framework

When we move beyond symptom relief and start addressing root causes, we don’t just heal ourselves—we transform the systems around us.

A world built on assumptions and shame cannot sustain itself, and they are beginning to crumble (and they’ve beeeeeen crumbling)

This is our opportunity to create something new, something rooted in authenticity, connection, and accountability.

Imagine a world where we trust our instincts, honor our emotions, and build systems that reflect the unique needs of each individual.

A world where we stop trying to fix ourselves to fit into broken frameworks and start building frameworks that honor who we are.

And true innovation doesn’t come from assumptions or quick fixes—it comes from understanding, introspection, and the courage to ask why.

A Message to the Current Architects of “Truth”

To those who have dictated our realities with your assumptions, guesses, and loudest voices: your time is up.

Your absolute truths have divided us, shamed us, and disconnected us from ourselves and each other.

You’ve built systems that prioritize profit over people, control over connection, and symptom relief over root-cause understanding.

But we’re done playing your game.

Autonomy isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about having the curiosity and courage to keep asking questions. It’s about trusting ourselves to navigate the layers of our own experiences and finding the root causes of our challenges.

And the body isn’t just a “machine”—it’s a source of wisdom, a guide, and a collaborator in the creative process.

Once we stop fighting it and start working with it, we will unlock the kind of innovation that can change the world. One rooted in understanding.

One where the feminine path to innovation is built on:

Growth guided by cycles, not rigid straight lines.
Intuition valued as much as logic.
True change rooted in connection—within ourselves, with each other, and with the natural world.

We’re not “sucking it up” anymore.

We’re not perpetuating the same tired narratives that divide and diminish us.

Instead, we’re choosing agency, truth, and the kind of innovation that begins from within.

We are no longer bound by your assumptions; we’ve chosen to create our own truths.

The world you built served you—but it failed the rest of us.

Now, it’s our turn.

Count your mf days.

‘til next time!

Manny with the Moves.